By Simon Rich
In Ant Farm, former Harvard Lampoon president Simon wealthy reveals humor in a few very marvelous areas. Armed with a pointy eye for the absurd and an overpowering feel of doom, wealthy explores the ridiculousness of our daily lives. the area, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place–with never-ending comedian potential.
–If your female friend grants a few “love coupons” after which breaks up with you, are the coupons nonetheless valid?
–What form of functionality strain does an endangered male panda suppose whilst his captors carry the final ultimate girl panda to his cage?
–If murderers can get into heaven by way of accepting Jesus, simply how awkward is it after they run into their victims?
Join Simon wealthy as he explores the extreme and hilarious desperation that is living in usual lifestyles, from cradle to grave.
"Hilarious." –Jon Stewart
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Extra info for Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations
But denial quickly gave way to grief. I understand he has another funeral to attend on Wednesday and that it will last until Friday. Please let him know that he can take as much time off as he needs. I would volunteer to drop off Caleb’s homework myself, but I understand that your house recently exploded. Of all the tragedies that have befallen your family, this one saddened me the most. For a house to suddenly explode, without warning, destroying a child’s backpack and books, is very upsetting, particularly in the midst of your High Voodoo Holidays.
I mean, Craig came up with Ladybug Red today. That doesn’t mean he has a bug problem at home or whatever. —Okay. But what about your colors from two months ago? Temptation Red? Considering Adultery Blue? Considering Adultery Yellow? —What about them? —I think you should take the rest of the day off. —Okay, you’re the boss. I guess I’ll see you divorce. ” —That’s what I said. “may or may not contain peanuts” —Boss? I got to talk to you. It’s about Al. I think it’s time for him to retire. —Peanut Al?
My innards R swarming w/2morous growths & the pain is excruci8ing. i no longer have any will 2 live. 2morrow i’ll B sed8ed 4 the oper8ion. Secretly, i hope i don’t come 2. i’ve decided 2 stop praying. Y should I? i h8 god. He sh@ on me & i h8 him. All i can do now is w8 4 death. :( if life were like middle school JUDGE: In all my years on the bench, I have never seen a more despicable criminal. You robbed, assaulted, and tortured the victim simply for the thrill of it. Do you have anything to say in your defense before I sentence you?
Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations by Simon Rich